Disorientation

This is about my cat, Kitty.

Last night, I went to bed and Kitty was “out like a light” – meaning I couldn’t get her to wake up to come to bed. I could have woken her up really, but why be a shit to take her to bed???

So, she’s in her living room bed and all the lights go out and I go to bed and get to sleep. In the middle of the night, I hear this non-stop “Meow-Miao-meow!” She woke up, the house was dark and she couldn’t find me. She was disoriented and panicky. She cried for me knowing I would make it better.

I called out to her and patted the bed. She stopped crying and a couple of minutes later hopped up on the bed and snuggled in. She wanted pets and comfort, which is unusual for her. She purred up a storm, and then we went to sleep for the night. Her fur was damp as if she’d been sweating heavily. No, cats don’t sweat through their fur.

Kitty has never been reactive to my touch – except for avoidance. She doesn’t like to be handled or held. She tolerates some scratches at certain spots around her neck, chin, and ears. Sometimes, she likes her hips scratched (the base of the tail stuff), but she’s never really been a snuggler. At first, when I got her, I had a hard time with that. Princess and Queenie loved to snuggle, and Beasley was a phenomenal cuddler. I missed that.

A change in the past few days has been a reaction to my touch with purrs. I love it! This cat is 14 years old. She’s been with me for 4 years this December.  When she came home with me, she was pathetic, fearful, depressed and angry. Today, I’d say she is comfortable and settled.

She’s still training me. Yeah, I know her fave food is fish. That was an easy one. Her favorite toy is the ring from a milk or water jug. She loves food. I would say she’s extremely food-motivated. She loves her breakfast most of all. She will kiss my hand with bites in the morning. This morning, she actually hurt! But I know she was telling me she was glad I was out of bed and food was on the way. So, even though I reacted with anger and her ears went down, I didn’t connect with anger. I pulled back.

So, to go back to the incident overnight, when she cried for me, not knowing where I was — it touched me. Every now and then, she will talk in the middle of the night. But the constant crying, over and over, like what happened,  is new. She sounded like she was scared.

This is one reason I leave a light on when I go out and will be gone after dark. I don’t want her to wake in darkness. It’s disorienting. It’s scary. When I wake up while it’s still dark out, I don’t want to get up. I go back to sleep. She doesn’t want to wake up in the dark, either. But instead of going back to sleep, she cries.

Having empathy for a cat makes me weird, I know. But if you are like me, you understand it.

That’s my story for today.